Thursday, February 26, 2004

3:36 PM -

So far I've been unusually quiet in this blog on the issue of same-sex marriage. I am overjoyed and filled with admiration for the brave people in San Francisco who are getting married right now, despite the opposition and the politics. After King Ding Dong decided to call for a Constitutional Amendement prohibiting same-sex marriages, I knew it was time to speak out. In between my crazy shifts and hair angst, I've actually found some time to write this letter which I want to share. I have sent the letter to my legislators and to some of the chief offenders in this drama, and if you are so inclined, I urge you to do the same.

The letter may be the debut of a writing section to my website, which means we may be in for a more major update soon!

9:44 AM -

My new word for today is g-rawr.

I came to work at 3am to handle a spacecraft reset. I barely worked at all yesterday because I knew this morning's schedule would be atrocious. I did go to my Film Theory class at SFSU, only to find out it had been cancelled due to bad weather. At least that means no homework this week, which is nice because I wanted a break. And I have a book I want to read...

So I was here at 3 am. Oddly enough, there were other people here. When the actual work started around 3:30, I noticed that our computers didn't connect to any of the other NASA computers we need... augh. So I trekked off into the night to our radio dish to find the only person who might know what was going on (and our dish-cam showed me he was out there) and I learned that our power system had been knocked out by lightning and our backup power system had been disabled by a power surge. Yay! So I spent lots of hours on the phone with NASA troubleshooting routers and firewalls that I know nothing about, waiting for real sysadmins to arrive. And it wasn't until 8:30 or so that I got to do satellite operations... And of course when our sysadmin turned on our -we-only-have-one-and-it's-vital- PC, it made a sound like a miniature chainsaw cutting a log.

This all wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't just bought a computer game that lets me design new maps and adventures, cuz yesterday evening I was busy creating climate-related magic instead of sleeping. That's what happens when I can't find knitting needles that are the right size. Still, little wonder why my sleep schedule is so screwed up. I -did- manage to obtain pumpkin pancakes and a mocha for myself, and hopefully I'll be at home and in bed by noon. And if I'm really awesome, I'll be awake at some point to call my brother and wish him a happy birthday, since it's his birthday! He's 23.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

10:42 PM -

So... I'm thinking about shaving my head. I've been hating my hair for months now, and I've tried experimenting and styling it different ways, and nothing's working. I want a change, something that looks good and is easy to take care of. I know the standby advice is to "find a celebrity hairstyle you like" and "take pictures to your stylist." And I have a great stylist. But I don't really want my own personal style to be dictated by the whims of the Hollywood machine...

I know a lot of it has to do with self image. I want to find my own look, independent of media. Something that reiterates my personality. But I'm kinda sick of all of the game playing. Maybe I could just shave my hair really short and start from there.

Sometimes people read this journal but don't offer feedback, but this time I'm really looking for feedback. Even if you don't normally leave me a comment... please... leave me a comment!

Saturday, February 21, 2004

12:55 AM -

So tonight, a huge group of my friends went out and did karaoke. I told them I was going to skip it, because this week has been kinda stressful and because I don't really enjoy karaoke. At some point tonight I gave myself a sauna, had some chrysanthemum tea, was feeling a lot better and didn't just want to sit home alone, so I snuck over to San Francisco and met up with my friends.

I had thought I just didn't like karaoke because I don't like making an ass out of myself and I don't drink very much. Like, ever. Near the end of the night tonight, though, I realized what was really going on... I had, how you say in English, an epiphany. When I was little, I always cried when I sang. Not just cried, but wept rivers of tears down both cheeks. It was horribly embarrassing, and eventually I stopped singing. I think over time I had forgotten about that, or at least forgotten that it was important. In the car, sometimes I pretend to sing along with Cher or Linkin Park (yes we are learning Tony's alien musical tastes), and sometimes I even fantasize about singing a bad pop song in Mandarin for other people, but for the most part singing for other people is terrifying to me. No wonder, if I'm afraid it will make me cry.

It's actually a hilarious fear, now that I'm thinking about it.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

5:22 PM -

Whoa. It's 5:22.

I need a new bag for my laptop. My messenger bag is also getting pretty ratty, and I decided to take the matter into my own hands. After a couple of friends had good experiences, I decided to go with Timbuk2, a San Francisco-based bag company. (And actually I'm getting 2 bags, a messenger bag and then a "laptop sleeve" that fits inside it but can also be carried as a separate bag. How handy...)

It was really frustrating to find the information I wanted. They don't have a retail location of their own, although some local stores carry a limited selection of their bags. They don't have a phone number for orders or customer service. After I finally accumulated all the information I needed through third

Whoa. There's someone at the door. It's now 11am the next day!

third-party sources, I placed the order. The website somehow mangled my order, and I couldn't phone customer service to fix it. I tried to fix it by e-mail, but their department was too slow, and said my stuff had already been shipped and I'd have to ship it back, order a new one, and pay restocking fees.... Augh! That was unacceptable to me, especially because I really felt it's not my responsiblity that a) they were too slow to correct things and b) they don't do phone customer service at all. After barraging them with phone messages and e-mails, I finally resorted to "if you know your party's extension..." I left a message with the VP of sales and then just started dialing random extensions. 14? 22? 34? After getting 4 answering machines, I miraculously got "the right guy" to fix everything. He waived the fees. I also learned that because my new laptop is different dimensions than the old model, they don't have any laptop sleeves that fit the new computer yet. Which means: no matter what I would have ordered, it would have been the wrong size, and I only could have learned that on the phone. But they don't have customer service on the phone.

This is a happy ending, though, especially because in a couple months they -will- carry a new laptop sleeve that fits my laptop. So I split my costs over a couple months. Also, while cyberstalking them to find a phone number of a "human being who can help," I found they were posting ads to hire phone representatives, which means they may eventually provide something that approximates customer service.

So... who was at the door? Well, Nessie et al. had their first meeting for some unspeakable activity which must not be mentioned. Ok I admit it, I'm a geek. As much as I want to be all cool, I have a heart heavily laden with geekiness... er... or... aspects of geekiness(?). But I'm in good company. We definitely had fun, and I had people over at my house, which means I cleaned up a lot. And Nessie wants us to get pictures of our characters, which is an excuse to bust out my sketchbook and try to design clothings again. We actually have a wide spectrum of geeks and non-geeks in our circle of friends, and I am hoping everyone will have fun and want to keep playing.

Ok! Time to sit around and wait for my package so I can ship half of it back.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

6:30 PM -

I just had a really great meal. 3 eggs, scrambled with green peppers and spiced with paprika. Dark wheat toast with boysenberry jam. Hot chocolate (made with real milk an chocolate, no powders!) with a dash of nutmeg. Mmmmmm.... I am happy. They say that you should eat protein right after you go to the gym, so I tried to make a meal that motivated me. Plus I ate out on my deck, even though it was a bit cold, I got to look out over the bay and spend some time with my new plants.

New plants! That's what I did this year on Valentine's Day. I have a new kumquat tree (to replace the 2 that I killed), some great herbs (like chamomile and lavender), a tea tree, and some pretty annual flowery things. I feel so good when I can make plants grow. I often feel like this city is too urban for me (Berkeley, not even San Francisco!!)... Not to be gross, but I noticed after I moved here that my nose is perpetually producing boogers because it's trying to protect me by filtering all the pollution and scum out of the air. Thanks nose! Anyway, my new plants are beautiful and I will do my best to keep them alive and healthy.

I am getting really tired of film theory, which is bad because this is only the third week of homework for the class. I wish these authors would stop trying to all prove how smart they are. I mean... film as an art form is less than 200 years old, and yet they analyze and analyze and talk about how it's the greatest, most momentous thing ever. Pretentious mental masturbating (and mutual mental masturbating) twits.

This weekend has been really exciting for gay couples. San Francisco is allowing same-sex couples to get married, which is just downright awesome. I am already infuriated that these (hundreds or even thousands) of people are going to have their marriages challenged, analyzed, and dissected in courts. Why can't lawmakers just let people make their own decisions about marriage? You can't legislate love. I honor and respect all of the courageous people who are right now making a stand of their own civil rights. The only thing that troubles me is Gavin Newsom's role in the whole thing... wasn't he supposed to be the bad guy? Doesn't anyone remember that?

Anyway. If you haven't checked out Mok's page, which I mentioned in my last entry, go check it out!

Friday, February 13, 2004

4:02 PM -

I stayed at work too long today. Long enough for two last-minute Friday-before-a-three-day-weekend problems to come up. One because of an inconsiderate person waiting until the last minute to do their fucking job, and one because computers are vile and malicious creatures. You know the sci-fi horror plot cliche where intelligent machines enslave humans? Don't be surprised if it's happened already. (We'll know because there will be a sentence mysteriously missing from my blog when it gets posted...)

I'm not doing much for Valentine's Day, because I don't have a Valentine this year. Last year's attempt to celebrate Valentine's Day was a bit disheartening, so I'm skipping any pretense this year. I may do some minor shopping for new plants, since I have much much more soil and pots than I have plants. I need something pretty, unusual, and easy to take care of.

Finally, I wanna call attention to a good cause. My friend Mok is doing an event this summer where he is cycling from San Francisco to Los Angeles to raise money for AIDS awareness and research. Check out this link where you can donate to his efforts. It's great that they have a web page for each participant this year. What Mok doesn't mention in his bio is that he's been running triathlons for years and is just awesome in general. Check it out... and have a great weekend.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

9:58 PM -

Ok, so I guess today I'm a bundle of mixed feelings. I'll start with the William Hung phenomenon. Crikey. In one way, I feel incredibly sorry for him. My heart goes out to him, really. That nasty show has done nothing but prove had fame and glamour are all artificial, to be bestowed and taken away by bloodthirsty capitalist entities who lurk in the shadows just offstage. If you fit the impossible standards promoted by MTV et al., and kiss the right bottoms along the way, you too can have your fifteen minutes of fame. And if you don't have Vanna White teeth or airbrushed abs, then you look like William Hung, and the cruel, ignorant audiences of our society laugh.

My jury is still out on this one, though. Part of why people have latched onto him is that he was incredibly honest and courageous, even as the "celebrity" judges tried to shoot him down. (Why do we have "some random British guy with an obscure-at-best career" as a judge on -American- Idol, anyway? Reverse colonialism?) In any case, William Hung has thwarted his critics with a megasurge in popularity. Is that because audiences want him to win because of his heart and courage? Or is that because audiences want to laugh at him? Part of me wants to see him win on American Idol, stabbing the glitterati establishment in its shriveled, cold heart and earning a recording contract. The other part does wants to just let him fade into obscurity, rather than promote him as a laughing stock. Maybe this is why I don't watch TV... too much stress.

Either way, I think it's vital to point out that William Hung's performance is only really funny because it's juxtaposed with the glam and magnitude of the American Idol stage. No one would laugh if they saw him at karaoke or a small local talent show, they would just clap politely. But ask the same guy if he wants to be the next Britney Spears.....? The clothes, the walk, the plastic implants, nip, and tuck. Place that side by side with just about any normal (non-bionic) human, and the results are laughable. I offer an example... this picture of a normal man who doesn't inject Botox or pose for pictures professionally, and therefore looks (comparatively) hideous when standing next to a supermodel...



In other news, I got a B+ on my first homework assignment in 6 years. That would have been fine, except that there was a big A+ on it, crossed out, and then the TA quibbled over my response to a question, even though my answer came directly from the notes. It might be time for office hours, although I hate to bust out my razor-sharp artillery on the unsuspecting TA so soon. I wouldn't want to make her life a nightmare.... um yeah. I'd love to bitch more about class, but let it suffice that I'm remembering what turns me off about institutionalized education.

Sunday, February 08, 2004

5:31 PM -

Sore.

So if there's one word that describes my state of mind today, it's sore. I feel physically and mentally incapable of leaving my warm bed.... luckily it's a Sunday and I can take time like that for myself today.

Team Shock Monkeys completed the San Francisco Treasure Hunt yesterday. It was awesome. Probably the most fun I have had in a year. Honest. So much so, that I'm going to try to recapture some of it in Blog form for you readers, so that you get all excited and want to join us next year. It was awesome.

3:30pm
I arrive at the starting point, a half hour before I told my team I'd be there. I get our materials. I have way too much stuff in my messenger bag, including a giant flashlight and a laptop, and I'm worried about trekking around the city with so much stuff. I wonder how I will coerce someone to carry my flashlight... The people ahead of me in line are talking about how it always ends up being necessary to run. I am a little distraught... Laura has already said that she is unwilling to run, and my position on the issue is that we all have to agree. I'd rather have everyone be happy than have us do better and be miserable. Or hate each other.

4:20pm
Our team is all here. The hunt is about to start... Nessie and I had to give up our table for a while because some homeless guy was talking about going to Maui and travelling around the world 755 times. He got pretty belligerent... After 5 years in the Bay Area, I still dunno how to deal with that. It makes me feel uncomfortable and angry and ashamed. We also debut our logo, which Mike designed, in the form of temporary tattoos. Laura takes charge of my mega-flashlight.



4:50pm, 0 clues
The hunt starts. We furiously start deciphering the clues. Andy gleans the word "uncle" from a cryptic geneology chart, leading to a phone book entry for Uncle's Cafe. Nessie tackles 2 rebus-ciphers, Laura tracks down the Rubicon Restaurant and calls them for directions. I pull Mike out of a phone book to have him call (what I think is) a phone number... he gets an answering machine and starts writing down another cryptic clue. The sun is setting, and people start leaving the plaza. Our team gets a bit muddled and starts trying to solve clues that other people have solved. I grab a map and start circling locations that we need to go-- Mike figures out that we still have about 5 unsolved clues. One of them is just a picture of the TransAmerica pyramid from a specific angle, showing two flags, and it's going to be tough to solve once it gets dark. The sun is setting, so Laura pulls people up and I start dragging them towards the TransAmerica pyramid. Time is a factor: this hunt ends at 9pm sharp.

5:20pm, third clue
We solve two quick clues. In between crazy discussions about Metallica (Are they the "original heavy metal band?" Did drumming, or Drumm Street, give them "lasting popularity"?) and fighting the clipboard-wielding crowds at the other clue sites, we have a lucky break. We are in exactly the right spot for the TransAmerica pyramid photograph. Solving this clue leads us in the direction we were going anyway.... towards Pier 23. (Interesting note: if we had solved the heavy metal clue earlier, we were at this point only a couple blocks from the solution...)

6:00pm, fifth clue
Crisis. We are in the right location for a clue at Sansome Street, but the number that other teams are writing down does not correspond with what our clue says to look for. Andy and I want to just assume the number is correct, Nessie puts his foot down hard. There is tension. Mike and Laura notice that time is passing, the sun is setting, and we still have a long way to go. Mike settles into working on the unsolved clues, Laura busts out the mega-flashlight. Finally, Nessie discovers a tiny plaque that commerates a time capsule... in the end he was right and I'm glad we listened to him. Nerves are fraying. At this point we solve a clue that sends us to Coit Tower, but now there's a dilemma... we thought a different clue was nudging us towards Coit Tower. We know where to go, but now we've exchanged one unsolved clue for another.

6:40pm, sixth clue
We are climbing the stairs to Coit Tower, trying to squeeze past less courteous (or maybe less athletic?) treasure-hunters on the stairs. I'm in the lead, sweating like crazy despite the cold air, and worried about our team's stamina. Halfway up the stairs, we could have made a quick detour that would have gotten us to the only clue that we didn't solve (until too late, anyway). We powered up the stairs and got to Coit Tower, where we are suddenly surrounded by children and other people from the beginner's hunt, as well as teenagers who thought this would be a safe place to kiss. Ha! The clue up here was particularly hard; we only solved it thanks to Nessie's relentless sleuthing. We are now tired and cold and we've only solved six clues. We come down on the other side of Coit Tower, unknowingly killing our chances at the only clue we didn't visit. Everyone else hammers their brains against the remaining unsolved clues while I lead us, using the map. We bitch about the people blocking the stairways. After Coit Tower, which we think had mostly people from the "Beginner" level hunt, we no longer see the throngs of treasure-hunters that we had seen at other clues.

7:20pm, eighth clue
We stop at a convenience store for drinks. I later learn that everyone in the group except me has to use the bathroom, but everyone is clenching their bladders for the team. That's what I call fortitude. We go to a park across the street from a post office (we also could have found it using GPS coordinates?!?!), and we discover that every bench in the park is dedicated to someone. We are looking for a bench with 3 initials...

7:30pm, ninth clue
From here, enter Chinatown and just start banging out clues. I lead us from clue site to clue site, using the map (and making a couple of wrong turns). The team solves some of the tougher remaining clues, and luckily they are close enough by to still be on our way back to the finish line at Embarcadero. We still don't understand the Metallica clue, and we are running out of time. My periscope-like nature helps me see over a crowd of treasure-hunters clustered at a closed barbershop with celebrity photos.... It turns out the "photograph of a famous river" is actually River Phoenix.

7:55pm, twelfth clue
Running out of time! We are in the heart of Chinatown, hunting for a clue that we are told "might be obscured". Great. The clues get us separated, then lead us directly into the parade route. Firecrackers explode *-LOUD-* from everywhere all at once... the parade has just started. We finally regroup, spot the answer hidden in shadow atop another building, and are now faced with a problem... we have to cross the parade route. I start running around like a headless chicken, vaguely towards Laura's Rubicon restaurant and the next clue. Nessie points out that I've taken us 2 blocks out of our way. Finally, Mike pushes to the front of the parade crowd and negotiates passage with a police officer. Nice. We watch a bunch of kids with a giant dragon, and then sneak across the parade street behind them. Awesome work, team.

8:20pm, thirteenth clue
Laura and I dash towards the Rubicon restaurant... an amused bystander gives us the answer, but we confirm it inside the little art gallery anyway.

8:30pm, fourteenth clue
We are painfully aware of the passage of time. At some point we realize that one clue we didn't understand was leading to "Alta" and "School" alleys... which were the clues we missed back by Coit Tower. Crikey! We also picked up a clue about Trinity Alley, way down by Market Street. This is our last solved clue. Andy steps into prevent me from making a wrong turn as we dash southwards. We find an illuminated mural inside a pizza shop and Nessie finds a poem with the answer to our fourteenth clue.

8:40pm, fifteenth clue(!?!)
We are running out of time to get back to the finish area. Mike and Nessie are talking about the original heavy metal being lead. I start thinking about alchemists turning lead into gold. Mike busts out his street index in a flurry of paper and flashlights: Gold Alley. 6 blocks north. Clock check. We'll have to run.... Andy and I start jogging north. Suddenly, in a black-clad whirlwind, Laura passes both of us. At one intersection, a man in a car (who obviously believed that he was entitled to break laws because he had money, or something) almost hits Laura while running a red light at a fairly busy intersection. Laura is in the crosswalk, stops in front of his car, and gives him the biggest evil eye I have seen in a long time. Then she dashes off with Andy and I to Gold Alley, where we solve our fifteenth clue, outside a very exclusive-looking seedy club.

8:52pm
At this point, it's all about getting to the Embarcadero as quickly as possible. Before we are disqualified at 9, and before any other teams. We run some, we walk some, Nessie busts out with an impressive sprint, and we finally make it and turn in our scoresheet.

There are pictures somewhere, and I'll try to find them. We all piled into Andy's tiny car afterwards and met up with Gia and Elaine for some yummy Vietnamese food. The whole team was empty stomachs and full bladders, but at least we were polite about taking turns for the potty. And the food was awesome... Mai's on Clement, *mental note*

We're still waiting on the final tally-- we think we got 15 out of 16 correct, which is really good for first-timers in the "Regular" (not "Beginner") hunt. Go go Shock Monkeys!

Friday, February 06, 2004

12:43 AM -

Woohoo! I am at work again, handling a spacecraft reset. Today I have re-started the scarf, and knitted 6 rows without the Möebius effect. Even better, my stitches look really pro! Which is awesome since I had a couple of glitches when I was getting started before.

I am becoming entranced by Nessie's suggestion to get involved with something very bad. Doing it socially, however, may be an important outlet that ultimately prevents me from doing something much worse. As I was doing "just a little" research for the character I might play, I Googled a reference to an identical character on a message board, only to find out that the message board posting was written by me, a couple years ago. So yeah Nessie, rock on, this might be really fun for me.

I am also pleased to report that the first class discussion in my film theory class went well. I'm kinda nervous, taking my first academic class after so many years. I contributed a bit to the discussion, though, which was encouraging, and I covered some good topics in my essay. Now let's do that every week.

In more important news, my friend Dianna is hosting an event, sponsored by MoveOn.org, which is a movie screening and discussion dealing with truth issues and the war in Iraq. It's at the Parkway Theater in Oakland this Sunday (the 8th). Here's an information link: (information link!). I will definitely be there, and I hope that some of you Bay Area people might come, too.

The only thing is, I wish there were more of these events in places that weren't strongholds of liberal voters. Then again, I'd be too cowardly to host one in... Ohio for example.

Finally, a big shout out to the judicial system in Massachusetts. Thank you for recognizing our right to equality, even when other people are trying to amend us out of their Constitutions. I mean it, this is a big deal.

G'nite!

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

7:21 PM -

Done!!

Paperwork, applications, samples of academic writing, everything is finished and out of my hands. The occasion deserves a big WOOT!, although I'm still not sure on the etymology of woot. Hopefully the Everquest theory is wrong, since we all know that only one good thing ever came out of Everquest.... ahem.

Anyway, I feel so free having this big project over and done with! And I will be doing the Chinese New Year Parade treasure hunt with my Shock Monkeys posse this weekend. What else will I do with my free time?

The shadow knows. And in addition, I might also have to do my homework.

Monday, February 02, 2004

2:38 PM -

I downloaded this from CNN today, and added my own little presidential notations.



Having studied physics, I noticed that the slope of the graph is important. Green means: no deficit! The U.S. pays all of its bills. And the only president in the time period shown who worked towards that goal was Clinton. Our current president, however, has wrecked that with the steepest slope of any president on the graph.

My point: I think this ding-dong is just looting the government ninja-style and starting wars for the profit of oil companies.

How you can help: buy solar panels for your house! Register to vote! Or just leave us a comment, preciouses.

Sunday, February 01, 2004

10:22 PM -

I'm pretty sure the sequel to Order of the Phoenix is going to be "Harry Potter and the Möebius Scarf."

At least that's what it seemed to me... After officially shelving the unicorn project (again!) until I learn to make pants that actually fit my curvaceous self, I decided to work on all of those "coming soon" sections of my costume library. For the Hufflepuff outfit, I wanted an appropriately-colored scarf. People were talking about knitting them on LiveJournal, I haven't knitted in forever, and I got myself all prepared to do one. I even learned how to cast on, which was very exciting to me. The only problem was... after knitting 5 rows (400 stitches!!) I realized that there were at least 3 twists in the scarf-loop. Phooey, that was a lot of work.

In other news, my old roommate Brian's team won the Super Bowl, again. With the same guy kicking the same impotant field goal, even. Much more fascinating to me is that while CBS chose to prevent MoveOn.org's ad from playing, on the grounds that an anti-Bush ad might be too controversial, they allowed surprise guest Justin Timberlake to expose Janet Jackson's breast during the halftime show. Also, an article I read said that crotch jokes were an important theme in the Super Bowl ads, which are somehow more acceptable than pointing out that our current president is a ding dong.

By the way, if you are not registered to vote, do so at once! No excuses.

In other happy news, the treasure hunt tickets have arrived and I was accepted into the Film Theory class I wanted to take for "fun" this semester. Yay! I already have some mean jokes about Russian film theorist Sergei Eisenstein. But since they would incredibly nerdy and require lengthy explanation, maybe you can just marvel at the Quasar Pen I bought for the class. It glows blue! Pretty pretty....